What Does Self-Care Look Like Everyday?

We’ve all heard it. It’s a buzz word at this point. Self-care. But what does it really mean to self-care? The first thing that comes to mind is that it is the way you take care of yourself on a daily basis. It can look like working hard but it can also look like taking time for rest and recovery. 

I’d say that self-care has many parts to it. The first part is spirituality, connection to mind/soul. Have faith! Understand where you come from (family/trauma/past), who you are (present time), and where you are trying to go (purpose). Having a purpose is to acknowledge that you are here in this world for a reason. Not to just live life and let it pass, rather to life a fulfilling life through your work, your community, and your goals. To lead with determination, respect, integrity, love, kindness, and most importantly hope. 

This only comes when you recognize your full potential. When you are confident in who you are, accepting of self, and have a growth mindset that will push you to become a better version of self. It means you need to build your foundation, have a strong set of values and boundaries. Values help with decision making. Values also help with how you spend your days. It helps to recognize that in order to achieve the goals you have set for yourself, you must take action. This is what productivity is. Productivity > letting time pass by. Productivity can be applied to many things, it doesn’t necessarily mean working a job. It could look like spending quality time with family, asking elderly questions about their life and growth. It could also look like listening to a podcast, learning as much as you can. At the end of the day, its all about your intentions. Set them clear and don’t let anybody deter you…especially yourself. 

Now let’s talk boundaries. They are incredibly important for all relationships in life. With yourself, family, friends, and work. The reason why? Time. You don’t want to waste time doing things, being somebody, or accepting things that don’t make you feel good. You need to be mindful of your time. We have limited time in this world. So don’t let others waste your time. If you have a friend that seems to be toxic then simply take a step away. No need to confront, just acknolwegde what you need to do to take care of yourself. Be kind and respectful when setting boundaries. Don’t rub it in. Just recognize the importance of claiming your power back from things that are draining you. 

Since we are the decision makers in our lives, we make various choices on a daily basis, consciously and subconsciously. Every moment of our day is an opportunity to better ourselves, to be kind and generous, and to make the world a better place. If we forget about boundaries, we allow ourselves to be hurt or even used. We can easily feel pressure and fall into temporary pleasure and temptation. Then what? We’re distracted, we’re not focused, we’re drained. We forget about our great purpose. And even worse…we forget that we’re here for a special purpose. And that the time we have on this earth is limited. Spend it towards doing good and being better. Remember time = money. Time is one of our greatest assets in this life. It can never be replaced. Don’t waste it. Make your dreams a reality. Don’t be afraid of change or letting go. 

If you ask me whats the next best thing after time? It is your health. Mentally and physically. When we hear self-care, we usually think its how you take care of yourself. Like taking time to pamper yourself, going for that haircut or nails appointment. Or maybe splurging a bit more and going for a massage or laser appointment. But thats not where it starts. Self-care doesn’t just mean going out and paying for things that will make you feel better. It means healthy and mindful living, nutritious eating (90/10 split), being active (daily movement). The other part of self-care can be understood as being kind to self and others, spending time alone journaling and reflecting, sitting in the sun at the park doing simply nothing, or even cooking a nice meal. Self-care is about building a routine that makes you feel good and in “control”. I put control in quotations because no matter how much control and free will we have, the one that has the most power is God. He is the ultimate planner. Which is why prayer and faith are important in living a purposeful life. Having faith and hope that you are meant for something great isn’t something that can be made up. It has to come from a deep inner knowingness and connection. 

That being said, self-care also means choosing the right people to be around. You are who your friends are. We always hear it. Its true. Surround yourself with people that you can learn from, that make you feel warm and fuzzy, recognize you for who you really are, and can support and motivate you. Too often we find ourselves in friendships that are draining and toxic, holding us back. But we can’t get ourselves to walk away from them. Be vigilant and aware, even in your closest relationships. This will clear your path and bring you closer to who/what is really meant for you. 

So. Now that we have a better idea of self-care, I want to talk about the importance of believing in yourself and pushing for the things in life that you want to make happen. When you have a strong set of values, you know who you are, and what you stand for then you’re less likely to be pulled in different directions. To know your self is to take care of yourself, and to take care of yourself is to trust yourself. You know whats right for you and your mind/body/soul. And if you don’t, then get to know yourself. Embrace the thoughts. Don’t play into them. Listen to them. Watch them pass and you will learn a lot about who you are. Once you have a better understanding of self, you can reprogram your mind to align with who you want to become and the life you want to build for yourself. I say this because we all have our own set of trauma and negative thoughts. This holds us back. We hold ourselves back. We let it take our power away from us. So to take our power back from our pain and past, we must control the thoughts (being the watcher) and shift our perspective. Hold our tongue. Hold that thought. Shift gears. Be open to relearning things and have hope that it will push you forward. 

*Read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle* to really grasp this concept of being present and the watcher of your thoughts. 

*Listen to How To Reprogram Your Mind & Become A Conscious Creator by Dr. Joe Dispenza or read Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza

The greater idea is that you need to have a deep connection to self. You need to understand self in order to trust your intuition and inner compass. Once you form this connection, you realize that you can conquer anything in life! Because you now hold power over your life.

If you don’t know how to achieve this, seek it out. Ask questions. Be observant. Never stop learning. Ask better questions. You want to think of every encounter as a learning and growing opportunity. Whether its for your mind, body, or soul. 

Lastly, find your purpose. Find your passion. See what drives you and aligns you with your best self. The opportunities are endless, but life is short. Time is our greatest asset. Make use of it. Read that book, set time aside for family, put your phone away, go on your hot girl walk, sit in the sun and listen to the noises around you. Just be. Listen to your thoughts and connect with your gut, your inner guide. Listen to your body and how it reacts when certain thoughts arise. When you feel excited or down in your body, connect it to the deeper meaning. Peel the layers back. Trust in yourself and trust in God. You will find your why. But it starts with you, be curious. Be fearless. Take risk. 

You can move past the noise and live your dream life. But there are consequences. Lead your life with discipline, courage, and respect for self and others. Life is a test. There are good and bad lessons to learn. We have control over our thought processes and decisions, so we must know our core values to make the right decisions. And when you make the wrong decision, acknowledge it, accept it (no regrets or guilt), reflect, and learn from it. On to the next. Otherwise you get caught up in a cycle of turmoil and regret. 

Something I just heard that I want to share with you:
Learn how to sit in the mess of your life so the mess doesn’t overtake your life.

This is important because life won’t always be perfect. You will go through downfalls, but the key is to not let them define you. Embrace them instead. Learn from them and search for the greater meaning behind them.  Sometimes we go through turmoil or trauma because it is meant to teach us a greater lesson that will bring us closer to where we’re hoping to go. And in the end, whats on the other side of the mess makes the ‘pain’ worth it. 

I hope that helps. If you or anybody you know is struggling a bit to find your why and how to connect deeper to self, shoot me a message here. Or find me on Tiktok 

If you are in need of a self-care guide, I got you.