5 Things You’re Doing That Make You Less Likable (and How to Be More Likable)

We all want to be well-liked and build positive relationships, but sometimes, without realizing it, we can develop habits that put others off. In this post, we’ll dive into five common behaviors that might be inadvertently driving people away and how you can make small changes to build stronger, more genuine connections. Bonus: We’ll also share some pro tips on how to turn these habits around to make people crave your company and friendship.

1. Always Winning the Argument or the Joke

While it can feel great to always have the last word or land the perfect punchline, constantly winning arguments or cracking jokes at others’ expense can make people feel disrespected or dismissed. If you always need to be the “winner” in conversations, it leaves little room for others to express themselves or share their opinions.

Pro Tip: Instead of always winning, try to embrace curiosity. Ask more questions, listen deeply, and learn from others’ perspectives. When you shift from being the “know-it-all” to a humble learner, people feel seen and heard, making them more drawn to you. You’ll also gain more meaningful insights and deepen your relationships.

2. Taking Vague Compliments and Responding with Grace

When someone gives you a compliment, it’s easy to brush it off or downplay it. However, how you respond to compliments can deeply impact how others feel about you. Taking compliments gracefully and acknowledging them makes people feel appreciated and valued. If you always deflect or respond with self-deprecating humor, you might come off as unappreciative or even insecure.

Pro Tip: The next time you receive a compliment, accept it with confidence. Acknowledge the person’s kindness with a heartfelt “thank you,” and let them know you appreciate their words. Rather than deflecting or downplaying it, own your strengths and let the person know how their compliment made you feel. This builds trust and shows you’re comfortable in your own skin, which naturally draws people toward you.

3. Being Self-Centered in Conversations

No one likes to feel like they’re just an audience for someone else’s story. When conversations become one-sided and you dominate the discussion, it can alienate the other person. People want to feel heard and understood, not like they’re waiting for their turn to speak.

Pro Tip: Shift your focus to active listening. Instead of waiting for your turn to speak, fully immerse yourself in what the other person is saying. Ask open-ended questions that invite them to share more, and engage with their answers. People crave meaningful conversations, and when you show genuine interest in their thoughts, they’ll feel valued and want to be around you more.

4. Constantly Talking About Your Achievements

While it’s perfectly fine to share your accomplishments, constantly talking about your wins can create a sense of superiority. People might begin to feel like you’re bragging rather than celebrating success. If you’re always trying to prove how accomplished you are, others may start to tune you out.

Pro Tip: Celebrate shared victories instead of just your own. When you talk about your accomplishments, also acknowledge the people who helped you along the way, or share something you’ve learned from someone else’s success. This shows humility and encourages others to open up about their wins too, fostering a supportive, two-way connection that people crave.

5. Being Critical or Judgmental of Others

Criticism can be constructive when it’s offered in the right way, but when it becomes a habit to judge or criticize others, it creates negativity and breeds resentment. People are less likely to want to spend time with someone who is always pointing out flaws in others, whether it’s in appearance, choices, or behavior.

Pro Tip: Practice empathy instead of judgment. Rather than focusing on what’s “wrong” with someone, look for what’s admirable or unique about them. When you offer support or understanding instead of criticism, you’ll naturally build stronger, more positive relationships. People will appreciate your open heart and feel comfortable around you, knowing you won’t judge them.

Final Thoughts

Relationships are built on mutual respect, empathy, and kindness. Recognizing and adjusting habits that may push others away can lead to stronger connections and more fulfilling interactions. By being mindful of how we engage with others—whether through arguments, compliments, conversations, achievements, or judgments—we can create a more welcoming and positive atmosphere wherever we go.

Remember: It’s not about being perfect, but about being considerate and compassionate toward others. When you make these small adjustments, you’ll attract people who appreciate your true character and enjoy your company. And isn’t that what we all want?