How to Live with More Heart & Consideration
There’s something about growing older that humbles you. Not in a bitter, jaded way—but in a tender, expansive way. Somewhere between the busyness of becoming and the stillness of being, you start to realize that what really matters isn’t attention, or perfection, or status. What really matters is consideration.
And maybe—just maybe—consideration is the purest form of love.
Not flowers. Not promises. Not perfectly crafted words.
But this:
When someone thinks about how something might make you feel.
That’s love.
It’s respect. It’s empathy. It’s awareness. It’s the sacred act of saying, “I see you. I hear you. I honor you.” Even when it’s quiet. Especially when it’s quiet.
As I get older, I realize that this kind of love is rare—but it’s not impossible. It’s something we can practice. Something we can embody. Something we can lead with.
And maybe, in practicing consideration, we learn how to live more deeply and love more honestly.
Love Begins With Thoughtfulness
We often think of love as something grand. Something you fall into. Something fiery and fast.
But the deepest kind of love isn’t fast at all. It’s slow. It’s soft. It’s subtle.
It’s when someone notices that you’ve had a hard day and changes the tone of the conversation.
It’s when they remember your coffee order. Or your childhood pet’s name.
It’s when they ask how you are—and really mean it.
It’s when they don’t try to fix your feelings but make space for them.
Consideration is mindfulness applied to relationships.
It’s paying attention. It’s emotional intelligence. It’s showing up in a world that trains us to tune out.
Listen to Understand, Not Just to Respond
We live in a culture that idolizes communication but forgets the sacredness of listening. True connection starts not with what we say, but how well we listen.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey
To love better, we must listen better.
To listen better, we must slow down. We must stop multitasking our way through relationships. We must become present—with our partners, our families, our friends, and ourselves.
Listening is not passive. It is not simply being silent.
It is active awareness. It is choosing to stay instead of scroll. It is choosing to be curious, not defensive.
It is asking, “What am I not hearing?” and “What does this person need right now?”
And then, listening again.
Letting silence do what it does best—reveal truth.
Think Twice Before You Speak
Words are power. They can heal or harm. They can open or close. They can create bridges or burn them down.
Being considerate means being responsible with your voice.
Not everything needs to be said. Not every reaction needs to be shared.
We live in a reactive world—but we can be intentional in it.
Before you speak, pause. Ask yourself:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it necessary?
If the answer is no to all three—perhaps love looks like silence.
Try Things That Allow You to Be a Beginner Again
Love—especially self-love—requires humility. And there’s no better teacher than becoming a beginner.
As we grow older, we often cling to what we know. We seek mastery, comfort, safety. But life is asking us to keep growing. And to grow is to risk looking foolish again.
Pick up the guitar. Sign up for that dance class. Learn a new language. Try painting. Or poetry. Or roller skating.
Why? Because it softens your edges.
It reconnects you with play. With joy. With failure. And most importantly—with grace.
When you allow yourself to be a beginner, you give yourself permission to be human. You make space for laughter. For trying. For tenderness.
And in doing so, you build self-trust.
You remember what it means to explore again.
Work Hard at the Things You Enjoy
There’s a misconception that passion means ease. But anything meaningful requires effort.
Don’t be afraid to work hard at the things that light you up.
Don’t wait for permission to go all in on your art, your writing, your movement, your ideas.
Put energy into what excites you, not just what exhausts you.
The things that bring you joy are not hobbies—they’re hints. They’re clues about your purpose. They’re directions on the map back to yourself.
You don’t have to monetize everything. But you do have to respect what makes your soul come alive.
Put in the hours. Show up with love. Sharpen your skills.
Hard work becomes sacred when it’s tied to meaning.
Spend More Time Outside
Nature grounds us. It reminds us that we’re not in control—and that’s a good thing.
Breathe in fresh air. Watch the sun set. Feel the rain. Walk barefoot. Let the trees remind you what it means to be rooted and reaching at the same time.
Our phones, our schedules, our screens—they disconnect us from our bodies and our being. But nature recalibrates us.
Go outside. Not just for your health.
For your heart.
For your perspective.
For your presence.
Favor What Feels Like Home: People, Places, and Things
Not everything is for you. Not every room is your room.
As you grow, you get better at telling the difference.
Favor the things that feel like alignment.
People who make you feel safe, not anxious.
Places that inspire your soul, not just your feed.
Things that allow you to be yourself, not a performance.
You don’t have to chase. You don’t have to shrink. You don’t have to explain.
You just have to recognize what feels like home—and go there more often.
Call Your Family. Call Your Friends.
Time is a thief. Don’t let it steal your relationships.
Call your mom. Visit your grandparents. Text your sister. FaceTime your best friend.
Not because it’s convenient. But because they matter.
Even when there are differences. Even when it’s been a while. Even when it’s awkward.
“Harmony is not the absence of conflict. It is the presence of connection.”
Let that be your aim.
Not perfection, not agreement, not being right.
But being close. Being open. Being available.
That’s what love sounds like.
Read More. Write More. Love More. Live More.
Read more: Because words are portals to empathy and expansion.
Write more: Because your story is sacred. Your voice is necessary.
Love more: Because nothing else will matter as much in the end.
Live more: Because this moment is not a rehearsal. It’s real. And it’s now.
You’re not too late. You’re not too far behind.
You are becoming. And the process is beautiful.
💭 Final Thoughts: The Considerate Life Is the Deep Life
At some point, you realize life isn’t about what you accomplish—it’s about how you show up.
How you listen.
How you love.
How you care.
Consideration is the highest form of respect. It’s what makes love feel safe, real, and enduring.
It’s not just a relationship skill—it’s a way of living.
So live fully. Love kindly.
Speak less, listen more.
Try, fail, laugh.
Spend time where your soul feels seen.
And above all else,
Be thoughtful.
Because that—more than anything—is the purest kind of love there is.
