How to Make & Keep Friends: 3 Key Factors

Friendships are one of the most essential aspects of life. They shape our experiences, offer support during challenging times, and bring joy to our everyday moments. But have you ever wondered what truly makes a friendship form and thrive? According to Mel Robbins, friendships are built on three key pillars: proximity, timing, and energy.

Let’s break down these pillars and understand how they influence our relationships.

1. Proximity: The Power of Being Nearby

One of the biggest factors in forming friendships is simply being around people consistently. Think about the friends you’ve made in school, at work, or in your neighborhood—it’s often the people you see regularly that become part of your social circle.

Proximity allows friendships to develop naturally because:

• You have more chances to interact.
• Conversations happen organically without too much effort.
• Familiarity builds comfort and trust over time.

If you want to make new friends, putting yourself in spaces where you see the same people often—like a gym, a coffee shop, or a hobby group—can help foster connections.

2. Timing: Right Place, Right Moment

Ever met someone and instantly clicked, but for some reason, the friendship didn’t take off? That’s where timing comes in.

Friendships flourish when both people are at a place in life where they are open to connection. For example:

• Someone moving to a new city is likely seeking new friends.
• Starting a new job or joining a club can be the perfect time to bond with others.
• If someone is going through a major life change (a breakup, a new baby, a career shift), they may or may not have space for new friendships.

Recognizing that friendships are often about the right timing helps you understand why some connections don’t stick—and that’s okay.

3. Energy: The Invisible Bond

Beyond proximity and timing, the most important pillar of all is energy. This is what makes a friendship feel effortless and fulfilling.

You know that feeling when you meet someone and your conversation flows naturally? That’s aligned energy at work. On the flip side, some connections feel forced or draining, signaling an energy mismatch.

To cultivate strong friendships, pay attention to:

• How you feel around someone—Do they uplift or exhaust you?
• Your shared values and mindset—Are you aligned in your outlook on life?
• Mutual effort—Do you both contribute equally to the friendship?

Friendships that last are built on genuine connection and reciprocated energy. If a friendship feels one-sided or draining, it might not be the right fit—and that’s a sign to shift your energy elsewhere.

Final Thoughts: Nurturing Meaningful Friendships

Understanding these three pillars—proximity, timing, and energy—can help you deepen existing friendships and form new ones with ease.

If you’re looking to expand your social circle, try:
✅ Putting yourself in places where you’ll meet the same people regularly.
✅ Being mindful of where others are in life and if they have space for new friendships.
✅ Focusing on relationships that feel mutual, energizing, and fulfilling.

Friendships are like seasons—some last a short time, others for a lifetime. By embracing these three pillars, you’ll naturally attract the right people into your life. 🌿💛

Do you resonate with these friendship pillars? Let’s chat in the comments! 💬✨