Can You Make New Friends That Last Forever?
Lessons on Lasting Connection, Intentional Friendships, and the Power of Showing Up
Hi friend, it’s Layla, the founder of Gifted Glow—your go-to for grounded self-love, personal growth, and that warm reminder you’re not alone on this journey.
I recently tuned into an episode of The Diary of a CEO podcast hosted by Steven Bartlett, featuring none other than Simon Sinek, and it deeply moved me. The conversation was raw, reflective, and eye-opening—especially around the topic of friendship.
So often, we ask:
“How do I find better friends?”
“Where are the people who truly see me?”
“Why do I always feel like I’m the only one showing up?”
But as Simon beautifully pointed out, maybe we need to start by asking a better question:
Am I the kind of friend I wish I had?
That stopped me in my tracks.
The Friendships We Crave Start With Us
Simon Sinek explained in his conversation with Steven that the deepest, most meaningful relationships aren’t built overnight. They’re built through small, consistent acts of showing up. Not grand gestures—but the kind of daily integrity that says: “I’m here. You matter.”
And it made me think. So often, we’re consumed by trying to find people who will love us better, support us more, be more available. But do we reflect on how we’re showing up in return?
If you want friendships that last forever, it’s not about finding “your people” and hoping for the best—it’s about becoming someone who creates safety, depth, and trust through your actions, not just your words.
We All Want the Same Thing
Here’s the universal truth: every human is looking for connection.
We want to feel seen, heard, and understood. We want to feel like we belong. We want to share joy, laughter, growth, and pain—and not do life alone.
Blue Zone research (regions where people live the longest and healthiest lives) shows that people with 3–5 close friendships can add up to 7 years to their life expectancy. That’s not just impressive—it’s proof that friendship isn’t just emotional, it’s biological.
We thrive when we’re surrounded by good people.
And we suffer when we’re not.
When we feel disconnected, we’re more likely to experience:
- Depression
- Burnout
- Anxiety
- Addictive tendencies
- A lack of motivation or purpose
Simon shared that loneliness has become one of the leading predictors of poor health outcomes—and it’s true. The lonelier we feel, the more likely we are to chase artificial ways to feel better: overworking, overeating, scrolling endlessly, or numbing out entirely.
Why Modern Friendship Feels Harder
Friendship in adulthood is complicated.
You’re juggling work, family, healing, dating, moving cities, starting new jobs—it’s a lot.
Add in remote work, and suddenly our already limited social energy is even more depleted.
We spend the day at home, behind a screen, and by the time 6 p.m. hits, we barely have the mental capacity to text back—let alone go out for dinner or call someone back.
But here’s the thing: isolation creates inertia. The longer you stay in your bubble, the harder it becomes to reach out. And when that becomes a habit, your friendships suffer.
Steven and Simon pointed out how remote work has made us less emotionally available to our friends. We’ve become comfortable with disconnection. We’ve normalized it.
So what can we do to shift that?
Redefining Friendship: Intentionality Over Convenience
Let’s talk about a scenario Simon shared that really stuck with me—and maybe it will with you too.
Say you have a dinner planned with a friend. It’s been on the calendar. But then, your boss invites you to a last-minute networking event that overlaps.
Do you:
A) Go to the work event because it seems “more important,” and cancel on your friend?
B) Hold your commitment and go to dinner?
Most people cancel.
Why? Because we assume our friend will “understand.”
But here’s the issue: we don’t realize how much that slowly chips away at trust and intimacy.
Every time we choose convenience or external validation over a meaningful connection, we unintentionally teach our friends that they’re not our priority.
Simon says, “The biggest mistake we make in friendships is treating them as optional.”
Let that sink in.
Being a Good Friend Means Choosing People, Repeatedly
Good friendships aren’t built on perfection. They’re built on repetition, reliability, and reciprocity.
Here are some small but powerful ways to build friendships that last:
✅ Show up consistently
You don’t need to be there every day—but when you say you’ll be there, be there.
✅ Follow up intentionally
“Hey, how did that interview go?”
“Just checking in on your mom—how is she?”
These little texts matter more than we realize.
✅ Be willing to go first
Vulnerability breeds connection. Don’t wait for your friend to open up—lead with honesty, and you’ll be surprised how much it deepens the bond.
✅ Respect their time
Canceling, being late, or constantly flaking sends a message. Show your people that you value them by honoring their presence and time.
✅ Make space for hard conversations
Healthy friendships require repair. If something felt off, misunderstood, or hurtful—talk about it. Silence breaks trust faster than disagreement.
Let’s Talk Boundaries
Now, being a good friend doesn’t mean being available 24/7 or never saying no.
It’s not about being a yes-person. It’s about being accountable and honest.
Set boundaries. Be honest when you’re overwhelmed. But don’t ghost or disappear without explanation—especially when someone has shown up for you.
Remember: boundaries and connection can coexist.
You can say, “I can’t talk tonight, but I’d love to catch up this weekend,” and still maintain intimacy.
It’s not what you say—it’s how you say it.
How to Find New Friends as an Adult (Yes, It’s Still Possible!)
So many people DM me saying, “I just want deep friendships, but I don’t know where to find them.”
Here’s what I always say:
Start with shared values.
Look for friends who are aligned with your energy, your passions, your beliefs.
Try:
- Joining wellness communities (hot yoga, meditation groups, fitness classes)
- Volunteering for causes you care about
- Attending networking or spiritual events
- Using apps like Bumble BFF or Geneva
- Reconnecting with old friends who feel like home
But most of all: Be open.
Friendship is built over time. Allow it to evolve slowly. Give it grace.
Final Thoughts: You Can Absolutely Make New Friends That Last Forever
The secret?
It’s not luck. It’s intentionality.
Be someone who:
- Keeps their word
- Follows up with love
- Speaks with honesty
- Listens with their heart
- Makes space for others
- And knows that the foundation of forever is consistency.
Simon Sinek said it best:
“Trust doesn’t happen from a big event—it happens from the accumulation of little moments when we choose each other.”
So choose your people.
Nurture your community.
Let love in.
Be the kind of friend you wish you had.
And if you’re feeling disconnected or discouraged—don’t give up. The people you’re meant to meet? They’re looking for you too.
💬 What’s been your biggest friendship lesson this year? Share in the comments or DM me on TikTok @ourgiftedglow—I’d love to hear your heart.
